the adventure of – minnetonka! give me your all shoes

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10.17.12 by jules

Yo! People of the free-verse!¹ Check it out! New blinkin’ shoes!

AHHHHH! I’m so happy right now! (and yes, that is a dog all ninja-like in the background giving you the stank eye)

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, “Why’s this chick getting all freaky about her new shoes? Foot fetish² perhaps? Ew. Unfollowing!”

But you see, a true justification for this truly exists! It’s true! Ponder this image of the woeful state of my previous pair of moccies.

The poor devils fought the good fight, they ran walked the good race. But there comes a day when gorilla glue and grey thread just cease to be enough and you have to ask yourself, “Is this the quality of life I want them to have? Is it time to let go?” And that day finally came for me. So, I went to DSW. If you have never partaken of the nirvana that is DSW, Hon, you need to do something about that. Like right now. Here’s their site, now go. Go my friend. You can come back and read this later, if you ever come out of the shoe wormhole. Because of my great love for you I will sacrifice my readership for your own well-shod happiness. There in that magical place, I looked at the sneakers, I looked at the slippers, I drooled on the boots. But I knew it was all a show, there would never be anyone else for me. [Is it just me or are you starting to read this in Captain Kirk’s melodrama voice too? Oh, you weren’t? How about now?] I peeled my old mocs off (literally, the inside soles had gotten quite sticky), put on those funny, little fake sock things and gazed upon shoe perfection. Which color to choose? Med grey? Dusty brown? Taupe?³ I thought I would surely go with tried and true grey, but I was also considering the taupe. Somehow, I ended up with dusty brown instead. Don’t ask me how, it just happened, okay?

Anyhow, I love ’em. I’ve tried to put on my old Chucks, but something just keeps bringing me back to these babies. And, I will admit, I like it that way.

So, now you should check out Minnetonka’s site because there shoes are awesome. I had the grey mocs for, like, years and years and I wore them virtually every day of those years. And their other shoes look awesome too. I’ve been harboring a secret longing for these and I love these, these, and, duh, these!†

Just one thing I haven’t figured out yet and that is how to keep the blessed laces tied on these things. Oh well, love makes room for flaws right?

¹ as in universe. go watch some Firefly, seriously
² actually, we’ll probably talk about these at a later point. here’s a hint: neuroscience, baby
³ as named by
† yes, I also have a secret longing to live in a James Fenimore Cooper novel
‡ don’t you just love footnotes? they’re so fun!

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